I was unable to move, so I took my 86-year-old dementia mother to travel for 100 days! Xu Huifang: Just say, leave, life will change

Editor: If you are unable to move with a crutch, your life is limited? When you are old, it is difficult to travel long? 50+ readers, 63 years old, Xu Huifang, with her 86-year-old dementia mother, traveled to Europe a few years ago, and then went there for the second time, which totaled nearly 100 days! It can be seen that the body is not a restriction, but a person’s thoughts. The two people who were originally in a bad mood also gained reconciliation in life through their journey.

Travel can bring freedom to the mind. When travel expands life and vision, is it more capable of facing the reconciliation in life?

An article in the "50+ Travel" community attracted nearly 5,000 people's praise and was very popular. This is the travel experience shared by more than 50 readers, Hao Huifang - she was unable to move due to her numbness since she was a child. She could use a cane and traveled to 20 countries in the world. Among them, the 80-year-old mother who had always been in a tight relationship with her mother and daughter also traveled to Europe twice, in the past 100 days!

She once held a sharing meeting at "50+ Love Travel" and said, "We can all get there any old and dead." It can be seen that the general "going out" restrictions: body and age are not difficult. The limitations of people are only in their own hearts.

She wrote one of her travel experiences like this: In 2017, she was traveling with her 60-year-old mother with an electric wheel chair and traveled for 45 days by herself with her 83-year-old mother. It was unblocked in her life and it was also "the most painful and intentional trip in life."

Little Macao limits her walking speed and cannot prevent her from dreaming.

Husband Huifang was born four months ago, and she suffered from Little Macao. The young mother, who was brought up by a blind mother, was flawed with the first child she welcomed, and was regretful and angry, and often complained that she was "lame". Coupled with the idea of favoring men and being a young woman, Huo Huifang became the one who "mother doesn't love" in the family. She remembered that every time her mother made a fortune, she would often use her as a gas cylinder. Since high school, Huo Huifang stayed in another place, but every time she went home, she must be so unhappy with her mother that she left crying.

The beginning of life was decided by God; but afterwards, she pursued her ideal life through hard work and faith.

When she was 30, she started her first self-service trip with 100,000 yuan in her coupon, and since then she increased her confidence, "A place that is not familiar with in life can be safely returned to Taiwan, and there is nothing to be afraid of in life!"

She was originally a teacher of a tutor. In order to achieve wealth and freedom of life, she later switched to the insurance industry and rode a three-wheeled motorcycle to run. Later, she relied on investment and had no financial risk. In the second half of her life, she decided to go and travel around. She recalled, "It was difficult to talk about stationery with my mother since then. Now that I have the ability, I will fly if I want to go abroad to buy tickets." She quipped with emotion: "Girls must have money, only if they have money, they will have a sense of shame!"

The first time the mother-daughter game conflicts kept recognizing that they were really different

However, mother's love has always been a shortcoming in her life.

In the past, in order to avoid conflicts, she and her mother always met as little as possible in a year. After middle age, due to learning about family and drama treatment, Xu Huifang realized that "the improvement of mature spirit should be sufficient wisdom to organize the relationships in the first half of her life, especially her family."

The first time the mother and daughter traveled to Europe was when Xu Huifang sold her father and mother Tianmu's house in 2014 and took her mother to take care of her nearby. When I saw my mother being too poor, I took her out to relax. I didn’t expect that the two people who were already dissatisfied with each other during these 52 days would have been in constant conflict.

"Our habits, preferences and ideas are really different. I like to walk to the peaceful suburbs. She likes to run around the crowds." Chang Huifang recalled that once in Switzerland, she finally arrived at the top of the mountain after a few clocks of carriage. She was about to enjoy the beautiful scenery, but her mother shouted that she was bored and wanted to leave.

Hao Huifang likes to travel with joy, and does not schedule a trip during travel. She always goes to the local area or even decides the next step as a genius, which amplifies the mother's sense of insecurity. The two often face hard. "Some places in Europe usually close the shops at 6 o'clock in the evening and don't run on weekends. I would buy good food first. She thought I was a fan of money. Once she was distracted, she simply refused to buy them, which made her feel tired."

The size and size along the way were constantly quarreling, and the inconvenience of mobility made Hao Huifang exhausted both physically and mentally. At that time, she thought, "This It should be the last long trip in our lives. ” 1 or 2 years later, Huo Huifang traveled alone according to her old habits, but a voice began to appear deep in her heart, “If my mother could see this scene together.” Even though she was strong and independent, love was still the softest place in her heart.

A little more trust and self-conscience to reconcile with my mother means that after three years of reconciliation with myself, Huo Huifang mustered up his courage and traveled to Europe with his mother, traveling to Prague, Denmark, Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Netherlands, Stellosburg, France to Germany and other cities. These 45 days have become the "most proud and meaningful journey" in her heart.

I wondered how the story would be so reversal. She said, "We should have started to have trust."

She analyzed that as the main caregiver of mothers in the past few years, she actually changed her position and became the role of "mother". Looking back on the first time I was forced and anxious, many of my mother's behaviors were as unreasonable as a child in her eyes. "I just hope she can listen to me well and don't talk."

At that time, she didn't understand that my mother also had her anxiety.. "Later, my friend woke me up. I was in a different country and had a mobility problem. When I got old, I couldn't help anything. In fact, I was powerless. But I didn't know how to deal with such a sense of powerlessness, so I could only complain or sing remarks."

Someone said that the relationship is like a nyc, and once I switched, I would find new discoveries. On the second trip to mother and daughter, because of experience, the mother understood her daughter's sexuality and ability, and her cooperation level increased, and Hao Huifang could also understand her mother's anxiety a little.

"I arranged for myself to go to a familiar scenic spot, and I only lined up one itinerary a day, which made the pressure of the trip less and her anxiety less." It turns out that a little more understanding can break the deadlock of the relationship.

Although during the second trip to Europe, my mother often got lost due to signs of dementia, and still made Hao Huifang run away, she thought it was the most meaningful trip in her life. Because my mother is older and sick, she still has a rare opportunity to see the scenery. What a precious experience.

"I will always remember the first time my mother told me on the return flight: 'Thank you for taking care of me all the way.' My eyes turned straight in my eyes."

She remembered a sentence that my father, who passed away in 2009, often said before his death: "There is only one mother, and it is forever unsubstituted." She once tried her best to escape, but now she finally understood: letting go of the past and reconciling with her mother is actually reconciling with herself.

Three things to do with your elderly parents to travel without any help

Whether you are traveling abroad by yourself or your mother, Hao Huifang chooses to help yourself. She said that in the past, due to work relations, although I often had the opportunity to go abroad with the group, because of my physical condition, it was easy to cause inconvenience between myself and others, and the group's actions were never as happy. In self-service words, you don’t have to cooperate with whom to really enjoy the fun of travel.

She doesn't like planning itinerary in advance, and usually only booked accommodation for 2 days after entering the country, so she felt like she could go wherever she wanted. Calling himself a "heavy mobile phone user", it is difficult to check routes, book hotels, and train tickets. "As long as you have a mobile phone and the Internet, the world will let me travel."

Travel can improve your ability and confidence in solving things. Hao Huifang has experienced countless travel experiences and has learned the secrets that you can play with no obstacles. It is also suitable for friends who want to travel with their senior parents. Reference:

1. Choose a friendly and accessible travel environment

Europe is usually her first choice for travel. In addition to the beautiful scenery, rich culture, convenient transportation, especially trains, it is very convenient for people with disabilities, and more importantly, European countries respect and gifts for people with disabilities.

2. When looking for suitable homestays through Airbnb, be sure to pay attention to the barrier-free facilities and the easy access of wheel chairs! Find homestays with kitchens to solve their diet problems, and to experience local culture in depth. She admitted that she was very nervous before changing to a new accommodation, worried that the hardware could not meet the needs. She suggested that the user of the wheelchair arrive at the accommodation as early as possible, so that all spaces would not go well before making changes early.

3. The itinerary should be arranged smoothly and elastically. When riding on a motor vehicle or traveling with a captain, you must consider your physical strength. That's why she always doesn't schedule first, but decides where to go based on the weather, physical strength and mood that day. Compared to some people who are worried about being worried about being famous attractions, they are full of wisdom and hearts. Anyway, they have never been to every place, and they are worthy of seeing it, so why bother worry about not seeing it!

It's hard for her to be fearless all the way, because she knows how to keep a lot of space for herself, not make arrangements beyond the burden, and she has the luxury of traveling leisurely.

Looking more about the world and becoming more personalized.

After traveling, the relationship between Chang Huifang and her mother has improved, but perhaps the past injuries have been hidden too deeply. She admitted: "It takes time to repair." However, with the trip memories together, the ability to watch photos and chat with each other has also added a lot of time to each other. "Many people say that the elderly have difficulty changing their personality, but I think my mother has changed more than me! She has become cute and knows more grateful. It is really different to travel and see the world!"

Recently, she asked her mother about it, would it be better to go to Europe when the epidemic is over? "My mother used to say no, but this time she actually said it right away!"

Now she is responsible for taking care of her mother; she is unable to go abroad due to the epidemic, so they will still travel in the island, go to Baihe to collect kapok flowers, and go to Jiaoxi to soak in hot springs. Even if she doesn't go far away, Chang Huifang takes her mother to Hebei Park for a walk every day. "I don't know when she is demented will not remember me. All I can do is to make her last memories beautiful."

As with her mother to grow old, Huo Huifang also thought about her old age. She has gone through the trough of her life. The only regret is that she has not married or had children. She is very happy: "Since I regret that I cannot change, I will change my heart and make myself live freely."

Someone asked Huifang, who is most satisfied with in life until now, and she said it is now. "Look, I'm very free now. I haven't had too much trouble. I can go wherever I want." Living in the moment, doing whatever I want is her most ideal mature life.

Original text: I have difficulty moving and I have traveled to Europe for 100 days with my 86-year-old dementia mother! Xu Huifang: Just say it, your life will change